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Hello from Parents Reaching Parents

October 10, 2009

Welcome to Parents Reaching Parents, a blog designed for parents with children struggling with same sex attraction. We are a community of believers in Jesus Christ with children involved in the gay lifestyle. We have created this blog in conjunction with Janet Boynes Ministries to connect parents across the country for encouragement, support and prayer.

We pray this blog will:

  • Answer your questions about homosexuality
  • Provide support from parents just like you all across the country
  • Encourage you to grow in your faith
  • Offer hope for your child struggling with same sex attraction
  • Help you understand how you may be involved in educating our churches about homosexuality
  • Provide prayer for you and your family

May God use this community of Parents Reaching Parents to provide encouragement to you as you trust in Him.

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88 comments

  1. I am not a parent, but believe me i am touched by the misery those who have children with this lifestyle, especially knowing how God see it. I believe this is a spirit that takes over the life of the individual. I also strongly believe that those so called researchers, experiment with parents when pregnant, injecting male homones in female fetuses, and famale homones in male fetuses to see what will happen to those children. This ability to know what child is in the wombm was not to gratify parents, and give them information, there was a diabolical idea behind it. Parents are given injection under the guise of helping them to have a healthier child, the devil is a liar, God will never make a woman with tendencies for another woman, nor a man with tendencies for a man. It is an evil spirit, and the diabolical device of hell.
    the approach to this has to be prayer and deliverance, but sadly some live in denial. God can turn around and change the whole spectrum of things if we only believe him, his word, and pray. Nothing is impossible with God. Blessings on all such parents who are experiencing such pain. Submit yourself to God. Pray and fast for your child if you are a born again believer, if you are not yet, get born again, so that you can position yourself to stand before Almighty God for your son or daughter. God bless all of you.


    • Norma,

      Thank you for your supporting parents on this difficult journey. You are indeed correct that nothing is impossible with God and prayer is key to restoration.

      Blessings,

      JBM


  2. Hey Janet-this is indeed exciting. I know how devastated our family was when our daughter revealed her “gayness”. Personally,I felt like it was a bad nightmare and I kept hoping I’d wake up. I even felt like I was living someone elses nightmare. People can say what they’d like but this spirit is no respecter of persons or socio-economics. In my journey, I’ve met many people who have gay loved ones. Yes, Christian families too,people. I think Janet said it best when she told me”the devil is out to get the young people”. What better lie to captivate loved ones and shatter the whole concept of family to the families. If I have anything to share that is worthwhile it is…catch your breath, be quiet, and wait for the Lord to lead on this very trying path. God loves us AND our loved ones. WE MUST LOVE. That doesn’t mean enable or affirm being gay. It is being who God has made us to be-parents,families and friends. Threatening, persecuting, denying, ignoring, bawling, guilting and a score of other coping mechanisms can cause no amount to pain for yourself and your loved one. Please take that moment and take it to our Lord. He loves you and He loves our loved ones. He sees the past, present and future for us and our loved one. WE HAVE NOT GOT THAT KIND OF LOVE ON OUR OWN!! Nor can we control the situation. God has no amount of grace. It is there for the asking. If you are feeling broken, He can enter in your life and give you rest. All He asks for is trust. He wants all of us to simply trust and worship and love. Letting go of all our humaness and asking Him to live His life in us. He died a horrible death to give us that privilege. In this confusing time, there is such rest. The situation may continue, but you can take the attitude of the father of the protocol. He was always watching down that road expectantly for his son’s return. So should we. If ever people needed love, it is when struggling with same sex attraction. If we turn on them, we are affirming all suspicion that we don’t love and that-even worse-God doesn’t love. It confuses the whole truth of LOVE. HIS LOVE. If you have done the ranting and the human coping thing-take a breath again. Give it to the Lord. It is never too late for restoration. It is never too late to love. Anger is not an emotion of itself-it has the underlying emotions of fear,guilt and shame. Put it away and ask God for understanding. He will never let us down!! Instead of pointing fingers at our loved one-point them at the evil one and tell him that Greater is He within us than he that is in the world. And keep watching down that road in anticipation!


    • Patti, thank-you for that heart felt proclomation of the word of God and its power!!!! Yes, I have a daughter that is living the lesbian lifestyle. It is the most painful trial I have ever had in my life! She was raised in a loving adn faithful christian family. She has brothers and a twin sister that are great Christian examples. So, yes, it can happen in any type of family. I would like to share with you my prayer scripture for this season. As a child of God, I know he has promised us so much through his word.
      Isaiah 61
      The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
      The Lord almighty has annointed me
      to preach the good news to the poor
      He has sent me to bind up the broken hearted (yes, my daughter is broken hearted; whether she admits it or not)
      to proclaim freedom for the captives
      and release from darkness for the prisoners.
      (doesn’t the negative words describe the gay life style?!!!)
      To procaim the year of Lord’s favor…
      (We pray that God will)
      comfort those who mourn
      to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes.
      the oil fo gladness instead of mourning and a garment of praise instead of despair. (this if for us, parents also. It really spoke to me…If we can learn to praise God through our trials, it will be as a garment protecting us from the spirit of despair.)
      They will be called Oaks of Righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the DISPLAY OF HIS SPLENDOR. (this is what I am praying for my daughter. Even before I met Janet, I have been pryaing for healing for my Kalee and that she would someday have a ministery that would help others and DISPLAY THE GLORY OF OUR LORD!!!)

      I am so thankful to Janet and for all that she does. She has truly been an answer to prayers in my life.

      In Him,
      Susan


  3. I feel so alone because my church doesn’t understand or care about my pain. My son is a good person who has lost his way.


  4. Oh Rachel, That alone feeling is awful but a lie. You, my dear lady. are NOT alone. Our Father loves you with an incredible love. He sent His Son so we could experience that Love through Christ and what He did for ALL of us on the Cross. From the time of Adam, God has shown us our ineptitude to live under the law. Every sin imagineable is in the Old Covenant. God always showed His amazing grace to His people when they turned to Him.
    When Christ died and was resurrected, Our Father gave us a gift of grace that is amazing. Where we were unable (in our humanity) to live under the law,He gave us Jesus and the indwelling Spirit of Christ. In Him we can live in righteousness through His gift of Grace. We are all living in blindness without the love of God.
    When we hand out condemnation instead of love when people need the the example of God’s Love the most,I feel we have failed in our own willingness to allow Christ to love and live through us.”Let he who is without sin cast the first stone”
    As a Christian that spoke volumes to me. Jesus said “I have not come to destroy the law, but to fulfill it”. WE cannot live up to God’s Holy Standards without Christ within us. It is impossible.
    When Christian people fail to realize this and judge us and our loved ones it speaks of an immaturity that we have all exercised at some time in our Christian walk.And it certainly does not glorify Our Father. When I walk in the flesh,Rachel, I am a putz. When I ask God daily to walk and lead within me, amazing things happen and we grow in Him. His Righteousness, His Love, His Wisdom and innumerable other traits that I couldn’t possibly emminate on my own take over. It is humbling indeed.
    So Rachel, you are NOT alone. Pray for your church that the people within it may grow into the fullness of our Lord.And know that our Father knows your pain, as He knew my own in this heartbreak and that He will give you Amazing Grace and spiritual growth will abound within you.
    Love your son, read Janet’s book. Count on God’s promises and find the rest and peace that we only find in the realization of God’s great love for us.
    God loves your son and he knows the beginning and the end of his journey. Leave it in God’s capable hands and ask for the trust you need. I am speaking from experience.
    I was devastated by my daughter’s journey into homosexuality. I felt alone. It is all a big lie. Look to Christ,yield to His grace. He is the answer to everything. The Word is Truth.It brings great peace.The journey for you will surprise and delight you. I hope this helps-many of us understand. Read the previous posts.

    Love you in Christ-Patti


  5. Susan, Thanks so much for sharing. We parents are on a real learning curve. There are many of us. God lead and bless us all. I love the Scripture prayer.I pray the the Holy Spirit leads us all on this blog because it is all about His Glory. He loves our kids. We love our kids. We can be prayerful for one another and our kids. That unity is empowering in Christ. We can love each other as we abide in Him.We must be mindful of all of us humans who take hurtful turns. Love the sinner-hate the sin. God please keep us aware of that simple statement and give us wisdom beyond our own.”Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive others”. And He does!!!
    Praise God!………………Love in Christ,Patti

    And Janet-God has answered prayer!!!


  6. I was just getting use to my oldest son going into the Air Force right out of high school,thinking that was the worse thing in the world LOL,then knowing that my daughter(16 at the time) was in a serious relationship with someone,right after Christmas last year I forced her to tell me who it was, and she said “you won’t feel the same way about me after you know” well I knew, and I took the information to my husband and we handled it badly, now 11 months later she has run away 3 times with a girl who has quit school, does not have a drivers license,and lives to make my life miserable. Today she shows up (only after my daughter has been home with us for two weeks after taking our car in the middle of the night and going to this girls hometown 5 hours away then leaving our car abandond in a Mcdonalds parking lot for 6 days) so they can hang out. I am infuriated!!!! I can’t wait until she turns 18 and I can let her go, but for now I will feel like a failure if she doesn’t graduate.
    Even though I will always love her, she continues to have no respect to how she was raised, has no respect for her family and doesn’t care how badly she hurts me on a daily basis.
    I guess I know how God feels.


  7. Since April 18, 2009 I have been grieving. Our 23 year old daughter, who had been the easiest child to raise, walked away from God and her parents to live with a girl she had just met a couple of months before that date. Our lives were literally shattered. I have gone through the whys (to which there are no answers), the anger, the disbelief, the embarrassment, the boxes and boxes of Kleenexes, the should haves-would haves-could haves and yet, all this did not accomplish anything – she is still living in sin. On July 17th I was able to give our daughter completely over to God and start to work on me. This has been a gut wrenching walk, and there were days I did not think I would get through that day, however it has also been a walk that has ignited a flame of anticipation and expectation that has kept my eyes firmly focused on the Lord. I have devoured many books on gay/lesbian/same-sex attraction – two which have given me much insight and great hope (Called Out was one of two). I am embracing (many times with feet kicking) my present season of growth. I am learning to walk by faith even with the highs and lows of emotions. I have abandoned myself to my Lord and must believe there is a purpose. I am learning to intercede on behalf on my daughter and have the tenacity to believe that what I am praying for is going to transpire. Restoration has become my favourite word through all this and my prayers are continually for repentance, redemption, reconciliation, restoration, renewal and repositioning in her life as well as mine. I do believe that He will overwhelm her with His love.

    Two wonderful blessings have occurred during these months of pain and growth. 1) After not seeing or hearing from our daughter for a time she called. We are slowly (one step forward three steps back at times) rebuilding a relationship. She calls me her best friend and states that I have never let her down. I am waiting for the “suddenly” of a life change that I feel is imminent because who she is right now is NOT who she is. 2) God has blessed me with wonderful friendship. A woman who started her own painful walk around the same time I did had gotten in touch with me via a post I had posted on Janet’s facebook page. We have been able to be each others sounding board, prayer partner, voice of reason and shoulder. We have also been able to share many laughs.

    My prayer for all of you who are praying for your children: Hosea 2:14-15 ~ “Therefore I am now going to allure her (him); I will lead her (him) into the desert and speak tenderly to her (him). There I will give her (him) back her (his) vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor (trouble) a door of hope. There she (he) will sing as in the days of her (his) youth, as in the day she (he) came up out of Egypt. (Parenthesis added)


    • Oh, Ruth, I would love to meet you and Rachel, Judy and other moms. You spoke my heart. I love the Hosea 2 verse!!! Powerful!!!!!!I have gone through the many of same stages that you spoke of. I found out about my daughter 5 years ago. At first, I didn’t want to believe it could be true and wanted to blame the other girl. I am sorry to say that my husband and I did not respond very Christ like. God has blessed me with being able to apologize to my daughter, though; which helped. Then, we also went through the should haves etc. I have cried so hard at times that I was hyper ventilating . We have been to a few counselors that seem to tell us different things. That is why Janet has been such a blessing in our life. God has blessed me with a prayer group and my family who knows my situation and prays daily for me. I feel that like you said, I am kicking and whining through this suffering time. I also have felt the Lord say, quit looking at her so much and look at me. I need my #1 desire to be to love Christ with all my heart, soul and mind. I am trying to focus on that. My verse for this week is: Romans 5:3, “But we rejoice in our sufferings (wow! Are you sure Lord??? ha! You and I know that only through the Incredible and miraculous power of Christ could we possibly do that!!!) because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character;and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because he has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he gave us. Then…at just the right time… ” Jeremiah 32:17, “Nothing is too hard for God!!!” We must keep hope. “All things work together for good for those who love the Lord!” Thank-you Lord for the promises you give us in your word. Help us to cling to them!! To be a light for all those around us, even in our time of trial. I am glad you are sharing dear sisters and it is healing for me to be able to share. Even as I typed my verse for the week, new hope was refreshed in my heart. Thanks again to you Janet for starting this blog!


  8. Ruth
    Our daughter told us in 2007 she was in same sex relationship. She then didn’t talk to us for around 6 months. Then she called & we started talking once a week. I prayed we were starting to heal our relationship. We saw her in July of 2008. We cried & laughed & enjoyed visiting for a few hours. Then we didn’t hear from her again for around 4 months. She then called to say she hated us & was moving & we would never find her. We haven’t heard from her since. I know God has a plan. As Janet has said, he’s planting seeds. I need to be still & be patient (this is very hard). Now that the holidays will be upon us, it will be a very difficult time & depressing. People ask about our daughter & it’s difficult to say “she’s ok” when she isn’t. We miss her & love her very much. We hope she loves us & misses us. The three of us had a wonderful relationship when she was growing up. We were always so close & now this. I pray for her every day. I’ve become closer to God through this & I’m thankful. I pray for all parents struggling with their daughter/son in this lifestyle.


    • Oh Judy, I’m sitting here typing this crying. I’m so very saddened that you have not heard from your daughter since 2008. I just can’t even imagine the heartache of a year without hearing from my daughter (two months was hard enough) – I am so grateful for even the short texts I get occasionally when my daughter is lonely.
      Judy be assured that God will never stop calling your daughter home. She does miss you. Some day she will share how God was at work at this time and you will be amazed at His workings.
      I will pray for your prodigal daughter and for you.


      • I just love all the comments on this blog. I am conforted just by reading everything you all are writing.

        Thank you so much parents for reaching out to each other.

        Love you all

        Janet Boynes


  9. Ruth
    Thanks for your encouraging words. It helps to comment on this blog. I just received Janet’s book and look forward to reading the book. I’m already concerned about my emotions during the holidays. People will be asking how is our daughter & if she’s coming home for the holidays. I would love to tell them she’ll be coming home but I also need to be realistic. I’m thankful for my closer walk with God & the support of friends. I appreciate your prayers & support. I would appreciate further dialogue. My prayers are with you & your family also.


    • Judy,
      I am on my fourth reading of Called Out (the first time I read it in one day). You will find chapter 9 very insightful.
      Yes the holidays will be very difficult, however you already know they will be difficult so prepare yourself for it. My husband and I have already discussed what to expect from each other emotionally. We will lean on God more than ever. Sadly my husband’s family is all in Alberta and my family is scattered throughout the US so we are alone family wise but we will keep our eyes focused on God and keep hoping for that anticipated miracle.
      Ruth


  10. For those of you who would I am asking that you cover me in prayer this coming Friday (13th). My daughter is coming to “The Reign in Us Tour” with me. I am so grateful that she has agreed to come knowing it is a Christian Worship Concert. “MOVE THAT MOUNTAIN LORD”!!! Pray that the Holy Spirit will soften my daughter’s heart and that she will be open to the worship. As for me, pray that none of my flesh will be invited by me to tag along.
    Thank you,
    Ruth


  11. Ruth
    Prayers are with you & your daughter. What a blessing she agreed to go to concert. We’ll pray
    the Holy Spirit will soften your daughter’s heart & will be open to the worship. Tomorrow will be an awesome day for both of you. God be with you & your daughter.


    • Thank you Judy ~ as one praying mother to another I know that you know what your prayers mean to me. Thank you also for your words of encouragement about it being an awesome day for the both of us.


  12. To All:
    Our Pastor stated in his sermon today: So, as Christians, we are called to the vocation of cheerleading – building up & spurring others on to love & good works. For this great love & vocation, may we forever praise God !
    My prayers are with all families struggling with their children living the homosexual lifestyle. We will pray, communicate & love.
    Psalm 46:1 God is our protection and our strength.
    He always helps in times of trouble.
    Have a blessed day


    • Amen and Amen. Thank you for sharing this Judy.


  13. Hello to all, it’s been awhile since I’ve had time to visit the site. My son has moved out since I’ve posted, he moved an hour away to live with his “friend”. It has been a rough mnth adjusting to him leaving, a few days of depression followed an arguement with him. He still feels, on certain days, that we are not supportive and therefore do not love him. He was home for a few hours last night, his life is falling apart around him, his health is in shambles as a result of an STD, yet he refuses to see the solution. I find it easier each day for me, selfish as it is, that he is not living in my home anymore. It feels more like a dream than living a nightmare, the gay “stuff” is not shoved in my face. I take refuge in God my Savior and cling to His word as comfort. I agree with the posts that the holidays are going to be tough. We have already fought over his friend coming, which is not happening. He decided he would choose not to attend family functions if we did not compromise. Praise God we did not compromise, he is coming alone to dinner. I can handle the tension with God’s loving arms around me. I pray peace and joy for each of you through this season.
    Blessings,


    • Jeaneen,
      Strangely enough I found that when our daughter left our home it was better. We were held hostages in our own home by allowing her to dictate the atmosphere. I have now turned her room into my prayer room (which is my favorite room in the house). When she started talking to me again and found out that her room was transformed she was a little shocked and ticked.
      In a very good book I read it stated “you must prepare yourself to see your child hurting.” It has been very painful to watch her struggle and fight against God, but I will not interfere nor will I try to help. If I truly believe that God is who He says He is and that He loves me and that He has a plan – then I must reconcile myself to let go and believe with all my heart that He will bring her through this. I have to give the Lord every part of my daughter and take my hands off of the situation. I find that very hard because I so want to “fix her” so she doesn’t have to hurt or go through tough times, but in my heart I know God and I know His ways are nothing like mine or His timing, but this I do know He loves us, He will never ever abandon us or leave us and He is always restoring and bringing new life, and taking us deeper in his love. Learning to trust is not as easy as I thought but I am getting there each and every day.
      Be strong through Him this Holiday season.


      • Ruth, AMEN! We too have changed our son’s room into a prayer room and study. He asked that we not change his room “just in case” but we felt the need to cleanse the evilness and perversness from our home. I too want to “fix” my son but realize only God can transform him. He continues to try to manipulate me but I am standing on the Solid Rock. My prayers for blessings for each of you this holiday season.


  14. Then you will know which way to go, since you have never been this way before.” Joshua 3:4a (NIV)
    Hey friends, I love this verse. Haven’t you felt like this before…Lord, I haven’t been this way… I don’t know how to handle this or that situation. I read this from the Prov 31 daily devotional. I thought it applied to us. I hope it blesses you like it did me.
    Do you have a fear of the unknown? If so, then you know how nerve-racking it can be. Fearing the unknown can cause us to live on pins and needles as we spend precious energy anticipating the worst-case scenario. There are two problems with this type of fear:

    1. The future is not here.
    2. The future is not ours.

    While the future may be out of our hands, it’s not out of the hands of an adequate and trustworthy God. When we face a worrisome unknown situation, we can look to Joshua as an example.

    It’s recorded in the first chapter of Joshua that before Moses died, God passed the baton of leadership to Joshua. The Israelites had been wandering in the desert for 40 years under the guidance of Moses. Now, their journey was almost over. Just beyond the Jordan River was their promised land—the land that God had guaranteed to Abraham and his descendants.

    Upon reaching the Jordan River, Joshua and the Israelites set up camp by the stream and awaited God’s direction. Much like their meeting with the Red Sea, God had to make a way for them to cross over the river. On the third day, God told the officers to instruct the people that when they saw the Ark of the Covenant (where God’s Presence abided) to follow it because they had “never passed this way before” (Joshua 3:4). In essence God was saying, Follow Me and I’ll see you through this unknown territory.

    That’s not all. The people were instructed on how closely they should follow the ark. Without this instruction, the people would have crowded the ark and God wanted every person to be able to see His presence ever faithfully leading them through the unknown valley. What greater encouragement could they have than this, that the Lord was their God, a God who was with them?

    You see, friend, the Lord understands our fear of the unknown. He realizes that you may be in a situation that you’ve never passed through before and you’re afraid. It may be the first time you’ve been without employment. Maybe you’ve just been diagnosed with an illness or your child is in rebellion. You’ve never been down this road before and you don’t know which way to go or what to do. God will guide the way.

    Joshua’s life was unpredictable and full of unknowns much like yours and mine. Yet, he successfully resisted fear by keeping his focus on God rather than the events surrounding him. Just as God guided the Israelites through unknown territory, He will guide you and me too. When we come to a place we’ve never passed through before, God is always present to help us.

    “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD, your God,the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; (Isaiah 43:2,3b, NIV).

    Even though the children of Israel were not told how they would pass over the river, the people went forth in faith. We too can move forward in faith sharing in the promised presence of God leading the way through our unknown circumstances.

    Dear Lord, thank You for Your promised presence. It comforts my heart to know that I am not alone. Lead me, Lord, through the unknown in my life. Make Your path clear and I will follow it. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.


  15. Amen! Thankyou Susan. Thanks so much!Our God is an awesome God. Love in Christ…………Patti


  16. I wish all of you a blessed Thanksgiving. Our journey is difficult but God is great.

    The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. Psalm 18:2

    Happy Thanksgiving – Thank you Janet for being a blessing to me.


  17. I want to thank each of you for prayers. My God is awesome! Although my son will not be with us on Saturday when we are having Thanksgiving dinner he did spend the night last evening and the day today. He went to his grandparents for supper tonight. He still needs to make a statement by not attending the family dinner but God has opened his eyes slightly. He stated he is somewhat sorry for saying outloud his thoughts and causing hurt. It’s a step and I’ll take baby steps if that’s what God gives. I pray you each had a blessed day. You are in my prayers.
    Blessings,
    Jeaneen


  18. To All:
    This Sunday is the first Sunday of Advent. Our sermon today was titled Advent Hope. Advent means coming and hope keeps the door open to what is coming. Jesus is coming. We need a lot of this hope for our Advent journey to Bethlehem & the coming of Jesus. We need a lot of hope for our children & for us parents through this journey. I pray for all us during this Christmas season. I pray our daughter contacts us. It’s been almost a year since we have heard from her. I’m praying for you parents & your children through this journey & I appreciate your prayers also.


  19. Although I am new to this- my son ‘came out’ three weeks ago, I can’t help but feel that you are all going about this the wrong way. I too feel lost, depressed, angry, and sometimes very, very let down by God. But the last thing I will ever do is turn my back on my son. I refuse to ignore his struggle by not allowing him- or whoever he loves- into my home. How has treating them as if they are ‘perverse or evil’ helped? Not sharing in their lives because they aren’t living the life YOU expected of them only makes it worse. Yes, we can continue to have faith, continue to pray and continue to hope, as none of us want this for our children. But how Christian is it to push your child away! This is NOT an easy life- and not one that they would choose. Only God knows how it came to be for our children. But we are still their parents and we still need to support them, love them and accept them for who they are and as God made them! This is not an easy journey, but I for one will NEVER turn my back on my child….not even for one day.


    • Linwood,

      We understand this is a very difficult time for you and, as you can see, there are other parents on this journey.

      Please understand that Janet Boynes Ministries does not advocate or support turning away your son. That is not what Jesus would do. We believe a parent should love their child unconditionally as God loves us.

      JBM


  20. Dear Linwood,
    We are all just parents walking this very difficult walk,coping the best way we can. We share what we’re feeling and do it with love. Nobody here judges what we’re all about individually. We are sharing the love of God. All of us are throwing ourselves at the foot of the Cross. All of us desperately love our kids.
    This is a very confusing walk. Many of us may not do what another might think they should do. The constant in this is Christ’s love. His love for us and our kids. And a growing love for each other in Him.
    It is He that leads and ,thank God,we are allowed to stumble. We will-and then He’ll pick us up.
    We all share a common goal. That goal is to trust Jesus to lead our children and protect them.To trust Him. Period. I will Never quit loving my child and hoping she leaves this painful lifestyle.I do not put her into condemnation. I love her. We all love our kids here. So be assured that we don’t share the spirit of condemnation.
    This lifestyle causes so much pain for everyone. We share that pain and collectively and ,in Christ Jesus, trust that He will teach us what we need to know and bring our children out from their pain.
    God bless you my friend. You are loved. God’s Grace be upon you and your son and family.
    Love conquers all. God is love.Keep communicating His love with your son and may God lead you and love you.
    If your son is mad at God-it means he believes. God will honour that belief.
    Yours,in Christ, Patti


  21. Linwood. I agree that we should not turn our back on our children. My husband and I have not turned our back, we love our son more today than ever but we will not embrace sin in our home. Not our son’s sin nor our daughter’s, God does not ask us to tolerate sin but to stand firm against it. I love my son so much that it hurts but I love his soul more than I love his flesh, God gave him to me to love and cherish, to raise and nurture but he belongs to God. My hope for him is to live in heaven, so I must pray for him daily, model a Christian life and stand against sin. Boundaries are easy to set and hard to keep. We have compromised many times with our son, allowed his “friend” into our home but this only allowed sin to escalate. We found that setting limits with him is the only way to really show our love. Please so not think for a minute that we have turned our back on our children, only on their act of sin. I think each one on this site loves their child or they would not be seeking prayer from other parents. I am glad you support your son and love him.
    Blessings.


  22. I love my daughter very much. I know God has a plan for her to be “called out” into God’s love.
    I would love to hear her voice & hear her say she loves me. It’s hard to believe it’s almost been a year since I’ve heard her voice. I think about her every day & many times during the day. I would love to sit down & visit with her. I know God is planting seeds. I pray every day for her. I’ll continue to take one day at a time & wait patiently for God to act. I’ll continue to pray for all parents & their children in this difficult journey. I appreciate your prayers also.


  23. Thanks for sharing Jeaneen,
    The Holidays are almost upon us. I pray we all keep Christ centred and celebrate His love for all of us.He did an amazing thing on that Cross. It all goes back to Jesus. I’m so thankful for Janet’s ministry and all of you. It is humbling that God loved us and brought us together that we may learn together in Him and be prayerful for one another and our kids and families. That we can be led and be strong in Him.We share pain but we also share a growth together and hope together.We share scripture and learn to walk in truth and love.
    We are blessed in so many ways.
    I just want to extend my thanks to all of you. For your support and prayers. God was indeed merciful when I was absolutely paralysed with pain and fear and confusion. He intervened, indeed! We can flip flop but He is constant. Thankyou Jesus.
    My hope and prayer is that we all receive His love at this time, regardless of our circumstances. That we realize how special and unique we are and how much He loves us and our kids and families.All He wants from us is for us to receive His love and TRUST IN HIM. He was born and died for us so we could access the the love of our Father.I pray that,no matter what, we receive our measure of joy in Him and the Holy Spirit emminates from us to all around us.
    Thanks Janet, for you do have a love for us that is beyond your own. May you be led into the fullness of what Christ has for you in His purpose.I’m grateful for your willingness to share so much. I pray for strength,courage and His love to abound within you.You are loved.
    God Bless us all in this journey. We are a “peculiar” people. And greatly loved.
    In Christ……………..Patti


  24. This is all so new and painful so I hope I didn’t come off as harsh and uncaring. I truly apologize if I may have offended anyone…that was not my intent. My prayers are with all of you and I thank you for the strength and courage your words have given me.

    God is good. I found enough strength today to actually apply some makeup and leave the house (and I only cried twice all day!!)And although we are at the beginning of our ‘Journey’ the sun did shine through a bit more today than yesterday- and for that I am thankful!

    God Bless all of you,
    Linwood


  25. Linwood, hang in there, every day brings a new chance to thank God for His love. It is God who gives us strength to keep going despite our struggles. We need to honor and praise His glorious name!
    Blessings to you


  26. Linwood, don’t be getting into self-condemnation. I remember being flattened emotionally one minute and then rising up fiesty and mad at the world the nest.. At the world!It’s all part of the process to get to the point that your heart knows God is in charge and your hope is in Him. I call it “jackrabbiting”. We understand this. Whatever your choices are, you will learn from them. Some of mine haven’t been pretty. But God understands and in His mercy, He will lead you.
    Understand that all of our circumstances are different. WE aren’t here to judge each other, we are here to support and pray for each other. WE can learn from one another. Thankyou for your posts. We understand even ‘cranky feelings”LOL.
    Confusion reigns supreme at first. We are all about the love of God.
    WE are sisters as we travel this journey. The Holy Spirit is in charge. He truly is the Boss. Thank God. I love and share the pain of each person on this blog. I appreciate the prayers. I appreciate the expressions of honest pain. So does the Lord. He counts our tears. So carry on. You are being led by the best-the Holy Spirit!.Susan,Ruth,Heather, Jan,Jeaneen,Judy,Michelle (Rachel-I pray for you too-especially you. Wherever you are.)Jan and Janet.And Phil for her encouragement. We are a part of the body of Christ with differnt insights and gifts. We are all the product if His Love and Grace. God Bless us all……..To a deeper understanding of God’s Love and Mercy. Bless our kids Lord. Show them their lifestyle as empty to them and break the stongholds of the lies.
    What a miracle that we have had the opportunity to meet and grow in His Grace. Together. ANd all others that have dropped into this blog are a great encouragement.. God bless us and ours.Read Janet’s book. It is very insiteful.Make’up is good girlfriend, and so is the sun light……… Love Patti


  27. I just finished reading Janet’s book. I plan to read it again. Janet, thanks for your compassion to help kids in this lifestyle & us parents struggling through this journey. I get strength and encouragement from each of you & I appreciate reading your comments. My prayers are with you & your loved ones. During this journey, I am learning to trust God with all my heart & pray daily. I keep learning each day. When our daughter first informed us of her lifestyle in 2007, I wasn’t sure I wanted to live because it hurt so bad. Thank you God for continuing to guide me each day through this journey. Thanks to each of you for your continued prayers. I pray our daughter accepts Christ. I pray she contacts us so I can hear her voice again. I love her with all my heart & I miss her more than words I can express. Blessings to all of you Love Judy


  28. It blesses me so much to read everyone’s heart felt comments. I loved how Patti mentioned our names that we are all praying for each other!!! It is true!!!!!! This is truly the most painful experience in life that I have ever lived. Without my family and prayer WARRIOR sisters in Christ, I would not make it. We are going on our 6th (as I count it) year of this battle. For you new commers, the first part is the toughest or at least it was to me. I couldn’t even tell my mother or best friends for quite awhile. I remember when I finally told my mother and my sister, it was like a black cloud lifted. I have never experienced quite a deliverance as I did that day. From that point on, as I began to share with my prayer WARRIOR friends, I began having hope and believing that God can do ANYTHING!! and that he has GREAT PLANS for my daughter!!!!! As a matter of fact (i know this is long,but it is also healing just to type it. smile!) I want to share with you a break through moment I had with my daughter over Thanksgiving. 1st of all, her “friend” told her that if she came home it was over between them AND Kalee came!!! PRAISE THE LORD!! They are still living together, but we have to capture each little victory and count it as large!! Then, I was telling Kalee how I believe God has a mighty calling on her life and that all this suffering and hard times that she is going through is only gettin her ready to be able to help and be compassionate towards other people that she will minister to. I’ve told her this before with out much response, but when I looked over at her…she was crying and not just little tears. I was so excited, I had to contain myself. I said, ” Oh Father, she really heard me. You are opening her ears and eyes!” I will pray all the more!!! And as one mother said, Satan wants my child, but he cannot have her and I want her more AND I have JESUS CHRIST ON MY SIDE!!!!!!!


  29. Susan
    How encouraging!!! God bless you. It is so true that about capturing each victory and counting it as large. To believe even when we are feeling like unbelief. And not to give up that victory when things feel dark again. To praise God, in spite of how we “feel”.
    Thy kingdom come-Thy will be done!! That is what I’ve been praying. Especially when things feel dark. When we are feeling powerless, the Word can empower us. We are in Him and He in us.His grace is abundant and His love is the answer to everything.
    We had our daughter come home for an overnight stay. I prayed that He would have me be what He wanted me to be.I know she misses her family. We just had fun. No pressure-just some loving. No discussion about the lifestyle.
    When she left, I said to my husband that we can,in Christ, OUTLOVE this girl she lives with. Love is the answer.God’s love is perfect. Our daughter came home when this partner was out of town. I pray she goes out of town regularly.LOL.
    Then I checked her face book picture. And was mortified. And I madly prayed Thy Will Be Done!!!The horror lifted.Then I claimed the victory! She did come home and she did feel safe while she was here.
    I believe for all of our kids,like you,that the Lord has a plan for their lives beyond our wildest imaginations. That they will live in Him. That He will lead them into His purpose!
    Christmas is fast before us. Some of us are going to have a hard time. I pray that we troop through it with Jesus leading the way. It’s His Holiday. While we bemoan our kids, He is busy working His Purpose.Let’s believe!!!Let’s concentrate on what God is doing instead of what we can’t see Him doing.He is ever faithful…………..Thanks again Susan. I’m so happy for your victory. Continue praying everyone. …………For each other. Love in Christ, Patti.


  30. Dear Susan:
    How awesome your daughter was over Thanksgiving !!
    This is so encouraging for me. You stated your journey is going on the 6th year & did your daughter ever stop all communication at anytime & you not hear from her at all for a period of time? We’ve not heard from our daughter for almost 1 year. I was able to find her address through the internet & we sent her a Thanksgiving card. We did not hear anything. We’ll be sending her a Christmas card too & we’ll pray for a miracle. Thank you for sharing your encouragement.

    Dear Patti:
    I liked your comment, you can “outlove” the girl she lives with. You are so right. As I’ve read in books, sometimes it feels like you take 1 step forward & 2 steps back. The journey is a roller coaster ride. At this point, I just want to hear our daughter, Angela’s, voice. I trust God with all my heart. We need to pray continually. We need to pray a daily prayer for the protection of the armor of God (Eph 6:10-18). We must accept the battle ahead & have faith in God’s ultimate victory on behalf of our daughters. This will keep us persevering. We must pray persistently & with patience. My prayers are for all of you & your loved ones. I appreciate your prayers for Angela & us.


  31. Dear Sisters, I am so blessed reading your comments and to know I am not alone in this battle and on this day that my daughter just told me that she will not be home for Christmas. We had a great Thanksgiving together and so many break through victories. So, this comes as dropped bomb, especially since she is driving many hours to see her “friend’s” mom. She told me it was over between them. Why do I feel like a Pharisee? My soul searching prayer is that I will be like Christ. I hope and pray that I really am reacting like he would. Yet, I will remind myself… At this point in our battle their is no win/win, until Kalee decides to “come out” and live for Christ. My sister reminded me that when we are in middle of the battle that we cannot see clearly and must not fall back and rely on our feelings. God has answered my plea for help in so many ways. I have asked him over and over, “Am I doing what Christ would do by not allowing this”friend” into my home?” I must have faith in the wisdom of the people he has sent me. Janet; then 3 other friends whom are not emotionally attached and whom I respect and admire so much all agree with Janet. I don’t know how much ya’ll battle this, but it is huge for me. I must remain strong, have faith in God and the counselors he has put right before me, and continue strong in this battle. I am down today, but I will lift my head and praise God for all that is doing and going to do in my life, my family’s life and the life of my precious daughter. I claim all of this in mighty POWER OF CHIRST, the same power that is in us that raised Christ from the dead!!!! I pray that the eyes and ears of our children’s hearts will be opened to know the calling that our Lord and Saviour has on their life! Christmas Blessings to each of you! My thoughts and prayers will be with you! Susan


  32. Susan, I am so sorry to hear your daughter has chosen to not share Christmas with you. I know the pain involved, when Josh did not come to Thanksgiving my heart was heavy but I am convinced if we stand firm on God’s Word He will open the eyes of our children. Satan has such a demonic presence in this world, as Christians we need to STAND, not sit, against the evilness. I encourage you to stand firm in your decision not to allow her “friend” in your home, it’s not an easy decision I know. Our son is still angry that we do not accept his “friend” but I know this is God’s will, thus, I must hold fast. I too have questioned this decision and even have waivered and let my guard down in the past but God has given me the affirmation that I am right in this decision and as long as I do it for His honor then He will bless my obedience. We each need prayer this holiday season. I am writing each one’s name on a card and placing it in my Bible so I can offer prayers for you and your children by name, calling the names of your children out to God that their eyes will be opened as Paul’s were on the road to Damascus. Blessings to each of you as we struggle in this battle.


  33. Dear Jeaneen:
    What an awesome idea to write each person’s name on a card & placing it in our Bibles so we can pray for each other & our children during our difficult journey. I plan to do this & encourage others to do the same. Our prayers will make a difference. All together we believe, have faith & trust God.


  34. Many times I have felt totally mean for not wanting to be involved in my daughters relationship with her friend. I’ve felt judgemental and sad with myself.
    Then the Lord revealed to me why I had to have this aversion. If I were to buy into the relationship and become a part of it, how could my daughter make a clean break, when the time comes. If I’m immersed in the relationship, I buy into the chaos and become part of it in order to meet my own needs of having the approval of a daughter I love so much.
    That would be a self serving agenda-not a statement of love.
    In God’s time, when my daughter knows God’s love for her surpasses all else,she will want to extricate herself from this lifestyle.When that time comes,we need to be free to embrace her decision. How could we be free if we have to extricate ourselves from the same chaos that we opened ourselves to for our child’s approval.
    God really gave me an aha moment. His wisdom.His knowledge and His grace.
    So He showed me why I had this aversion. I had been confused about that. I even felt bad about it. I felt that I wasn’t open to extending God’s love.
    When in fact……I am. Enabling any kind of harmful behavior is usually very self serving and feeds short term relief.It has it’s own agenda.
    Loving my daughter in the place she is in and maintaining a sense of peace, love and expectation of God’s leading is where the Lord wants me, regardless of how hurtful it makes her.
    When she told me that she plans to share Christmas with her “friend’s family” because they are “accepting” I found myself wisely saying..”whatever you need to do-I love you.” instead of guilting or expressing my own agenda. It diffused the situation and obvious confrontation that was brewing. It also placed the responsiblity of her decision back on her.It was God’s wisdom.
    Parents, I hope this is as big a help to you as it was to me.
    By standing firm, not by judgement or condemnation, we are free to be there for our kids when God’s love for them penetrates their hearts and they want to leave this lifestyle. Without the compications of having to undo our own lack of wisdom that had been driven by our own desires to be loved if we “accept” this lifestyle.. In that we show God’s love. We can be free in that love without encumbrances.
    I feel sorry for this friend. Her parents,by their expression of acceptance, are enabling her to stay in a lifestyle that is hard and cruel. All in the name of love.Whose needs are being met here?
    God bless us all at this time of year that is to be so blessed but sometimes gets bogged down with pain.
    Let’s rejoice in the ONE who chose to hang on that cross and take all our pain into Himself so we could find freedom in Him.

    Do I hear an AMEN??Yes….AMEN!!:)))


  35. PS…..What amazing gifts in Him we bring to one another as we share this journey.Jeaneen, what a beautiful thing to do. Thankyou!We have the victory in Him. All of you are so important to me. Imagine how important we are to HIM. Merry Christmas and God Bless.We will, in Him , outlove!!


  36. Dear Patti,
    Yes, AMEN to your words !!!
    Thanks for your words. They are so helpful & so encouraging. Thank you God for these amazing people & us sharing thoughts, words, hope & love during this difficult journey. Our children will be “called out” into God’s love some day. God is planting seeds. Our God is awesome. Our prayers make a difference. I’m praying for all of you. I appreciate your prayers also.


  37. I would like to share with you a little victory that I am going to count as Large. This past week I went on to one of our units (I’m the administrative assistant for a large non-profit organization that services the severely mentally disabled) which is usually what I do when I am sad because our residents are always so happy and love to be loved and loves to love no matter what. When I came onto the unit Justine’s closest friend (before all this took place) came flying around the corner and hugged me ever so tightly and said “if I don’t see you before Christmas I hope you have a happy one” to which I broke down and started crying. When we both stopped crying I told her how special she had become to me and how grateful I was for her and her continued friendship with Justine. She had asked me if I had heard from Justine and I stated not for a couple of weeks now. She told me that Justine had started texting and talking to her and told her that she (Justine) was thinking of moving out – for a split second I had such a glimmer of hope. Then she told me that she and Justine were making plans on getting together sometime soon and then Justine stopped all communication. I told her to hang on to Justine and not to let her go no matter how hard she tries to pull away.

    Yes Patti, we will OUTLOVE Justine’s “friend”.

    Last week I was reading and praying “The Power of Praying for Your Adult Children” by Stormie Omartian and something jumped out at me that I’d like to share with you – “God was asking Abraham to lay down his dream – his dream of having a son and his dream for what his son would become – and give that dream entirely to God. By being willing to make that sacrifice, Abraham showed his reverence, uncompromising love, and trust for God because he believed God would raise Isaac from the dead. What this means for us is that God is faithful to provide for us when we have a need, if we are faithful to obey Him and follow His lead. It also means that God requires us to lay down our dream because He wants us to know that He is the one who will make it happen. When we let a dream die that is God’s will, He will resurrect it.”

    I do know and am confident that Angela, Kalee, Loni, Josh, Justine and all the other daughters/sons of the parents on this blog – thinks about us and they do miss us and deep down in the depth of their heart they love us – We are their mothers and Satan can never be a mother.

    I too will join Jeaneen by placing all your names and daughters/sons in my notebook so I can continue to pray for all during our difficult journey.


  38. Amen Ruth. And Amen again. We are blessed! A great message for all of us!!


  39. Thank you Ruth for your words. They are encouraging. I have the small book of Stormi’s prayers, The Power of Praying for your Adult Children. The prayers are so helpful. I’m praying for all of you & your children & I appreciate your prayers also. Our children will be “called out” into God’s love. Thank you God for your love & grace.


  40. Friends, what a wonderful blog, I love coming to this site! Patti, all I can say to you is AMEN! When we stand firm on God’s foundation our children have to eventually “get it”, God’s promise is to us if we stand for Him, He will stand for us. Josh was home last week, had no money, no food and needed to do laundry. When I asked why his friend’s parents weren’t helping he replied, “they aren’t nice like you and dad”. That made my heart leap! He knows he is loved and is always welcome here, that we are here to help him but not embrace his sin. I am saddened today terribly. A boy, my daughter’s age (26), overdosed yesterday and was taken off life support today. I can not imagine what his parents are going through. I told my husband that I am thankful our son is not living a life of drug addiction. So many parents I know have children who are living a detrimental life, albeit a temporary life, they mourn for their children as we do. We need to remember that are children (adults) are no worse than any other person who is not a believer in Christ Jesus. I think sometimes we, and many in society, put this sin above any other and condemn our kids. God, in His mercy, can save anyone! Good friends just lost their 8 month old daughter to the arms of Jesus, she was born with many health issues but is now whole, running and playing in paradise. I am so thankful that my son is alive and well despite the lifestyle that he chooses to live. Let us take time to thank Him for our children every day when we pray for their soul. Merry Christimas to each of you! You are not only in my thoughts but my prayers, I pray you have a peaceful holiday week.
    Blessings in Christ.


    • AMEN Jeaneen!! God bless you! Merry Christmas.Here’s to a New Year in Him:-))We are am awesome group of people with a tremendous outflowing of good ole Holy Spirit love. Thank you Janet for your love in Him and your encouragement. I often go back and read our comments when I feel lost or discouraged. It’s quite amazing how the Lord uses each of us in our own way.All of us!
      It’s so easy to lose perspective when we deal with pain, whether it’s our own or others. This is a safe place to vent and share. A great place for the Holy Spirit to move in hope and love just when we need it. A great place to get centered on Him.
      God bless us all and keep us in Him.
      Luv………Patti


  41. To All:
    God’s grace sets us free from our sinful lives. Now we pray for our daughters/sons with our hearts full of grace. Prayer is a greater work for God. Prayer is acknowledging & experiencing the presence of God & inviting His presence into our lives & circumstances. Praying affects us & reaches out & touches our daughters/sons for whom we pray. When we are praying, something is happening, whether we can see it or not. A quote I read: the man/woman who kneels to God can stand up to anything. Merry Christmas to all of you & your families. Prayers are with you.


  42. Well, it’s a new year, what are we expecting God to do with our wayward children? What are we willing to do for God as we wait for our expectations? I praise His name that our son spent time with the family for Christmas despite his anger that his “friend” was not allowed. We did allow his friend in while waiting on our son, showed Christian love toward him which is something his mother refused to do for our son. Josh decided we are not “too bad”, wonderful words to a mother’s ear. I continue to pray for each of you and your children that God will remove the blinders from their eyes, that they can see the wonderful God we serve as we do. I refuse to allow satan to have my child! He was given to me by MY Heavenly Father when doctors told me I could not have children, God has a plan for his life and I will continue to fast and pray for this plan to come to fruition. It’s wonderful to know others are praying for my son also. Blessings to each of you this new year.


  43. Happy New Year everybody!
    We often are only looking at our child who has entered into the lifestyle. We don’t realize that the rest of the family is in crisis too.
    As Christians, we often don’t march to the politically correct. Well…..make that most of the time. LOL. This can really rock the boat in families even if these family members are Christians. We are all in different places in our Christian journey as family members.We don’t have to be vocal about our Christian walk. We just have to be the Christ within us. That creates all kinds of mayhem at times.
    Many times the crisis rears its head-not as controversy over how we react to the child in the gay lifestyle-but in ways we least expect. Like quick anger, condemnation, recrimination and over-reaction to situations you least expect by the other members of the family. Any disappointment perceived can lead to chaos. Everyone grapples for some kind of control when we feel out of control. Interesting….because contol or the sense of it leads to chaos most of the time.I’m talking about the sense of personal control.
    As I watched my family around me this Christmas, and saw what was happening, I was absolutely mortified……control was in big evidence.And everyone wanted it! All I can say is “Good luck with that” LOL
    The Lord kept saying to my heart”Be Still and Know that I am God”. I was more than happy to listen.
    I’m sure that other parents have experienced the chaos that ensues when family dynamics are thought to be threatened. Nothing like a child in the family jumping into the gay lifestyle to bring that to the forefront.
    Everyone can feel threatened. Kids dive for affirming their place in the family and other kids just get mad.As parents, we can join the fray or Thank God, we can be still till the dust settles. What is interesting is that all the anger and insecurity is not acknowledged as belonging to the pain of having a proclaiming gay child or sibling and the change of family dynamics…………
    It is justified by all kinds of explanations. None of them are truth……just masks for the pain.
    I’ve been quiet because the Lord impressed it upon me to be so. In the quietness, I began to see the truth.
    Listening to the Lord and keeping quiet and not trying to win or fix or control leads to others having to look to the Lord for their own answers.As parents we let go and let God. For real. Not only our wandering sheep child, but all our children. All the while we affirm our love for our kids and stand firm on the truth that “He that is within us is Greater than He that is in the world”. And the faith in Restoration when this great “lie” that has shaken the family is defeated.
    I will forever refer to this Christmas as the Christmas minus the Christ. What a fiasco!!That being said, even the fiasco will lead our loved ones into greater truth for themselves. And my husband and myself had to rely on the grace of God to exercise patience and understanding with the family struggle.
    So parents, if you have kids that are reacting in anger and controlling behaviors, be still and know that He is God. They are just trying to find sense in the lie. Don’t personalize-just be quiet and let God do what He does best…….Love His Own.


  44. My name is Heidi and it is the love for my daughter that brings me to this blog. I have never blogged before, so this is a strange experience for me, but so is the other first in my life that I find myself in today.

    I am on the 10th day of a 21 day fast for my daughter. On the 7th day into this fast I received an invitation to my daughter’s wedding to her same sex partner. Before I continue, I want to thank Susan, Ruth, Jeaneen, Judy, Patti, Heather, Rachel, and Lindwood for sharing your most personal heartfelt comments regarding the path you are on with your children. I have read every comment and as I “hear” your words I find myself right alongside each of you hurting in your hurts, struggling in your struggles, and crying along with you as you describe your tearful scenarios. I’ve jotted down Scriptures and other pieces of encouragement you’ve shared with one another that has really captivated my heart. There is a bond here between all of you that refreshes. I feel like I know you and I am so thankful to God for how He weaves hearts together as we come together in Jesus Christ. I have a deep sense that this is a safe place for me to be sharing my story.

    I found out about my daughter in 2003 when she was a senior in high school. She had a friend whose family life was very troubled. I was a 5th grade teacher and I taught this friend of hers when she was in elementary along with three of her siblings throughout the years so I knew this family well. My son had left for college so I had an open bedroom. Things were getting worse for this friend in her home so I allowed her to stay with us. One month turned to two, then three. She ended up staying the entire year. During that year my son “caught” them and exposed their relationship. We were shocked – like a deer in the headlights. My husband and I were teaching Jr and Sr High Sunday School of which she was a part. She has lead people to the Lord and to this day says she loves the Lord and knows the Lord loves her, and created her to be gay. She has a huge heart for people. She wasn’t a part of the drinking or drug crowd so she seemed to have it all together spiritually. She agreed that this wasn’t a good lifestyle and would stay out of it which she has told us since, she did…for awhile.

    The would-ofs , could-ofs, should-ofs that some of you have expressed, I too experience. Sometimes I wish I would have sent this girl packing right back home to her alcoholic father’s messy trailer house with the huge hole in the floor, but I couldn’t do it. I felt it was my duty as a Christian to help this girl.

    Once they had been “caught” my daughter and her friend were very aware that this behavior was unacceptable and they knew where we stood and I had hoped that they would respect the “behavior expectations” in our house. One night before going to bed as I walked past my son’s room, where this girl was staying, I looked in and saw them semi under the covers next to each other laughing with their books and tablets strewn out in front of them. They WERE studying. But it struck me as odd that in most cases two girls studying on a bed would really be no big deal girls have sleepovers all the time. It also struck me that they could be defying the discussions we’d had about this relationship and I think I began to realize what was really going on under my roof and finally recognized this relationship for what it was – this was a lesbian relationship – duh – and I lost it with them. I let them have it. I had never done that before. I had always remained calm and collected over this for the most part. I always tried to approach this rationally and lovingly with them but this night stands out in my mind because I’d never been this angry with them before nor have I done it since. I told them that they needed to separate themselves and I would not tolerate inappropriate and unacceptable behavior in no uncertain terms in this house and asked them if they were clear about this. Again, looking back I often think, okay silly, naive, and overtrusting mother THIS is the night you should have helped this girl pack and got her moved out immediately first thing in the morning and explained to them that I could not continue to provide them this kind of temptation in my house!!

    There are times I’ve thought I’ve dropped the ball and allowed her too much wiggle room. I trusted my daughter to make a better choice. I didn’t understand the magnitude and power of this thing called lesbianism. And on the other hand I have a feeling that even if I had sent this girl packing there was no guarantee that they wouldn’t have found a way to be together, which they have done, as she is the one who is on the wedding invitation.

    So here I am today. I took the day off from work to pray and seek the Lord as I prepare to write a letter to my entire family explaining that I won’t be going to the wedding and why (the second of the other strange firsts in my life that I mentioned earlier). I have sought council over the past couple days from trusted Christian family and friends on the construction of this letter which is a big deal because for five years I didn’t know how to talk with family, friends or the church community about this and have only really discussed this with a few people. This letter will be big for me.

    Jeaneen and Ruth I followed your lead in writing each of your names and the names of your children in my journal and on my fasting prayer list. I’m adding Janet and Jan too. The responsibility God has given them with this ministry is no small task. I would appreciate being added to your lists for prayer. I pray as all of you do for light to shine on the darkness that is blinding my daughter and her friend to truth. And for a wedding that will never take place between these two.

    I had the priviledge of meeting Janet at her book signing at Living Word Christian Center – she is an amazing woman whom God is working through in a powerful way for His kingdom purposes. But I don’t have to tell any of you that – you already know. I want Janet to know how instrumental her book has been in providing clarity on this issue and in helping me know how to deal with the events of the past year with my daughter and also my sister who is dealing with the Lutheran ELCA issues in her church.

    Lastly, I’d like to share the Scripture that the Lord gave me to provide hope of His promise to answer my prayers for Sarah – and now yours too! Jeremiah 31:16-17 This is what the Lord says: “Restrain your voice from weeping and your eyes from tears, for your work will be rewarded,” declares the Lord. “They will return from the land of the enemy. So there is hope for your future,” declares the Lord. “Your children will return to their own land.” Praise God!


  45. Heidi, I recently did a 5 day fast for my son also. There has been changes noted, I am thankful for these small things. He now tells me “love you guys” before hanging up when he calls, this is new, he has always been loving with me but not with his dad. I too hold onto Jeremiah 31:16-17, the promise that our children will return to their own land gives me hope. As for the “wedding”, I completely understand. My son has asked my husband and I if we will attend his “wedding” to which we replied, “no, we will not”. This lead to much anger on his part but peace for us. I will not support the homosexual movement in any fashion, especially when it mocks marriage.

    I too feel that I dropped the ball when raising Josh, things I took for granted, believing him when I should not have, etc. But what I do know is that I (we) raised him in a Christian home, he was involved in church activities throughout his youth so he knows the truth and I believe that God will use this truth to reach the part of Josh that has been hurt, the part where his anger lies, the part that believes the lies of satan. The hard part is the waiting, waiting for the change but God did not promise us that we would get what we want in our time but that by faith He will provide us things in His time.

    My son recently was very ill, the first thing that came to my was an HIV scare. I have counseled with HIV patients in the past and know many of the symptoms and consequences. You talk about prayer, poor God got tired of hearing me I am sure, lol. Thank the Lord he had pneumonia only, something he gets easily due to asthma. His labs all came back clear but this is something that will “scare” me often. Our children do not realize what they put us through, the worry they cause but our duty is to pray for them, to speak the truth and to love them through this oppression. You are added to my prayers.
    Blessings to you
    Jeaneen


  46. Welcome Heidi. Yes, there is a wonderful bond here between many of us and I have made some dear close friends through this blog who I am very humble and grateful to the Lord for.

    Absolutely, you and your daughter will be added to my prayer book and beginning today I will begin praying for you both. I will be in agreement with you that this wedding will not take place.

    The scripture you shared (Jeremiah 31:16-17) is such a confirmation as on November 6, 2009 I posted this on Parents Reaching Parents blog titled Discussion: Living by God’s Word. Amen!

    For all my dear friends on this blog – An update on Justine:

    On the 30th of December Justine texted and asked if she could come home. I won’t go into the details leading up to this but I drove like crazy across the city and picked her up. When she came into the house she went into Leonard’s arms. Leonard point blank asked her if it was over between her and Katherine, which she replied yes it was over. We, as a family, went to a late movie (something they both enjoyed doing together in the past) and when we got home Leonard went to bed and Justine and retreated to the guestroom where we were up till 5 a.m. talking. The next morning (31st) I had to run into work for a couple of hours to finish payroll (one of the many hats I wear at work). Justine had texted me asking me when I would be home as she wanted to go and get her stuff. I got home at 2 p.m. and tried to convince her that I should go with her. She told me that her boss had given her permission to take the company van and that he and one of the resident’s would help her move. I told her that I would follow them to the house and wait and she said “no, she had gotten herself into this mess and she would get herself out of it” and then I drove her to where she worked and told her that when she went to the house to pack her stuff that if she felt scared or intimidated to call me and I would immediately come and get her. We haven’t heard from her since.

    So it is back on our knees – not that being on our knees would have stopped with her coming home. But it reopened wounds and it was almost like nine months ago when this nightmare started.

    I’ve got such mixed emotions – one minute I want to email Justine and ask her just what happened and then the next minute I keep thinking I’m hearing just to be still and wait. Nothing in my doing is going to bring Justine back to God or to us. I have to trust God and know I’m in His will in all this.

    Psalm 130:1-5 “Out of the depths I cry to you, Oh Lord; Oh Lord, hear my voice. Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy. If you, Oh Lord, kept a record of sins, Oh Lord, who could stand? But with you there is forgiveness; therefore you are feared. I (Heidi, Patti, Judy, Jeaneen, Sharon, Linwood, Nancy, Susan) wait for the Lord, my (our) soul waits, and IN HIS WORD I(WE) PUT MY (OUR) HOPE.”


  47. Thank you Heidi, Patti, Jeaneen, Sharon, Lindwood, Nancy, Susan & Ruth for your encouraging words and your thoughts. It has now been over a year since we have heard from our daughter. We do not know her phone number but I did find her address on the internet. We did send a Christmas card but heard nothing. A family member recently passed away so I left a message on Angela’s voicemail at work to let her know. We’ve heard nothing. Thank you all for sharing scripture. The scripture I repeat throughout the day is: Proverbs 3:5-6; Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him & He will direct your path. I’m also reading Janet Thompson’s book “Praying for Your Prodigal Daugher”. I highly recommend the book. I will continue to pray for each one of you & your daughters/sons. I wish you a blessed day & a blessed week.


    • Judy, I have that book too. It’s great.


  48. Judy, I am so sorry for you. The thought that comes to my mind is light and dark cannot be together. Angela cannot be around the light and live her life as she is right now.
    Although this hurts deeply if we look at it in the heavenly realm it is a positive. Sometimes we have to look at the eternal rather than temporary (this life) in order to cope with the things going on around us. King Solomon reminds us that everything is vanity or meaningless that is in this life. One day Angela will realize what she has lost, her relationship with her parents and time spent with them, in order to pursue what she feels is her “life” right now. As parents we must let go and allow our kids to make poor decisions, wow! is this HARD to do though.

    I read an interesting statement by Dr. Larry Crabb about the much loved verse PRov 22:6 regarding training up a child. “The Hebrew word for “train up” was first used to refer to a Hebrew midwife stimulating sucking reflex. The general thought contained in the word is to do something which triggers basic reflexes, to prompt a natural activity, or even more broadly, to create a desire. Children are naturally motivated to meet their personal needs. The job of parents is to prompt that basic reflex by the way we live. We are to create a desire in our children to look to the Lord for the satisfaction of their personal needs.” when I read this it made me stop and think about my kids (young adults). I have taught them about the Lord and continue to live my life for the Lord, it is time for them to decide how they will live, I no longer can make decisions for them. I have to back off and let them fall, something I’m not good at as I want to coddle and fix their problems. Angela has to make her own decisions, even if they are bad, in order to find her way to God. Sometimes we have to get to the bottom before we reach up to God. By trying to meet their own personal needs they will eventually fall, as we all do when we rely only on self, and have to look up. That’s when we, their parents, can step back in, love them and guide them. Until that time they choose to separate either physically or emotionally from us. Our job: to continue to love them by calling their name out to God and live a life that is pleasing to God, displaying His mighty love for us. sounds easy huh? Wish it was, wish the emotional pain would just leave, wish the worry would leave, wish the “kids” would just listen and learn from our past mistakes, wish, wish ,wish…. I have come to the conclusion, at least for today, that I cannot “fix” Josh, that he has to make a decision to leave this lifestyle, that he has to work out his anger toward God and everything else in his life and that only the Holy Spirit can open his blinded eyes. I will love him when he is here and love him when he is afar, I will pray earnestly for his soul and try to worry less, this is the hardest for me. I pray God will give you peace on your daughter’s choice to remain aloof. Sometimes we separate from God for undetermined amounts of time but He continues to love us, we need to learn from His example, ..be patient . At least He is better at this than we, mere humans, are. Blessings to you as you press forward!
    Jeaneen


    • Jeaneen,
      How I love your words of wisdom. Our daughter was married, divorced, and has been in the gay lifestyle around 5 years now. Both she and her partner are daughters of Christian families.
      At first, I was totally emotional.My husband is not a Believer yet, so i totally rely on the Lord for support.As i waited in prayer upon Him, He kept telling me to love unconditionally, and fast and pray.And so, I am. Psalm 139 reminds me how intimately our God knows each of us, including our children. So having done all, we stand, waiting expectantly on Jesus, who is our Mighty rescuer.
      I continue in lifting all of us parents and our loved ones before the mercy seat of God. To think on how Jesus is ever interceding still, our High Priest!
      How comforting this is. Joshua 1:9 to you dearheart.
      Ava


  49. Thank you very much Jeaneen for your words. These words are very helpful. Blessings to you. I pray for all the parents & their children on this blog. I know God as an awesome plan & I need to be patient.


  50. Hey dear sisters in the Lord and my prayer warriors in this battle we face, My heart hurts to read about the situations we are in; yet i am claiming the power of Jesus to the best I know how over all of our girls. It is funny Jeaneen, I too read this week the verse of “Bring up a child in the way “she” shoud go and when “she” is old she will not depart.” The author I was listening to said, when they are old they will still hear God’s word in their ears, ringing in their ears because we have given that to them. She explained it like the word of God would drive them crazy. I love that. Lord, may your word drive our daughters crazy until they turn to you! My daughter has some talk of moving out, but no action yet. It is hard to be still and patient sometimes isn’t it? Yes, Judy, I love Prov 3:5-6 and it is our family verse for the past few years. I am reading, Just Enough Light for the Step I am On, by Stormey O’Martin (*I hope I spelled that right) It is so good and very aplicable to our situation. Praying for you dear sisters!!!! God is faithful!


  51. This is such a wonderful place of refuge! Thank you Judy and Susan for saying again yesterday and today that you are praying for all of us. As I read everyones comments it almost seems unbelievable what everyone is going through. Our enemy wants us to believe that there isn’t hope for our situations, but we know the good news about that…he was defeated by the blood of Jesus and we will continue to intercede for our children over and over and over until we HAVE our breakthroughs and we WILL have our breakthroughs with each and every one of our children in the name of Jesus. His hope is that we will take our eyes off the promise of God’s Word which says we can have what we pray for (Mark 11:24)and all the other promises that God has given us in His Word.
    A pastor friend of mine prayed with me tonight for my daughter and in his prayer he brought up the Scripture Matthew 17:20 where Jesus tells his disciples that if we had faith even the size of the mustard seed, we could say to a mountain ‘Move from here to there’, and it WILL move; nothing will be be impossible for you.” He reminded me to speak to this situation and to tell the mountain (mountain in our children’s case being homosexuality) to be moved in Jesus name. In Mark 11:20-24 the disciples are discussing what has happened to the fig tree that Jesus spoke to the day before and he tells them that “Whoever SAYS to this mountain ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says.” So, I have decided to take my prayer one step further tonight. I have a tablet that I just put in my purse to take notes and make to do lists. I have put all your names in there with your children’s names and all the Scriptures all of you have written along with these new Scriptures and I am going speak out loud that all our mountains be moved. I am speaking to the mountain (deception and darkness of homosexuality) and telling it to be cast into the sea (out of our childrens’ lives)


  52. Aww…when I go back and read I get such inspiration from all the love we have for our children and each other. That,my sisters, is the love of God.That we can voice our pain while trusting our God leads to a brokenness that gives the Holy Spirit the control.
    Heidi, I relate to being able to share something so personal. You are safe and you are loved. I still get what I call a “phlegm-ball” that I have to flick out of my throat in order to share sometimes.LOL…..That being said, we have all been led to this place together to hope and pray and love.It is so humbling and such a gift.His LOVE.We count on that love.No need to flick the phlegm ball here.
    So….when well meaning friends come up to you and ask “How is Loni doing?” These are people who knew Loni was in Bible College last year and knew her from elementry school”. I do a bit of the gagging in these situations. I remember “The Waltons” and gag some more and then I pray for the Lord to open my mouth and push air through my vocal cords. What i have learned in these situations is there are many different reactions. From my Jamaican Christian Friends it was an instant prayer warrior
    cry. From many other people it was wide-eyed and tears. From one of my best friends it was…”Well I could accept that as a parent” My God, I pray she never has to.For the most part, people are praying. For that i am eternally grateful.If we don’t open our mouths with wisdom, we don’t get the support. Is it pride-maybe. Is it protecting our child-maybe.Whatever it is it is OKAY. It’s when He prompt us. The air actually moves past the vocal cords. Lol.
    We are all looking to the same source for help-Almighty God. He loves our kids more than we do. I totally believe that we have to let them go to get them back-always watching for their return down that road to their own land.Heidi that scripture should be our theme. Wonder if we could sing it?? Thou wilt keep us in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Thee. That scripure can chase away the feelings of doubt for me. I say it over and over until the challenging stops.
    The family issues at Christmas have settled down somewhat. I imagine there will be more in the future. And I will be still and Know that He is God.Trust is the most important thing with our love for our Father. And Praise!
    Welcome Heidi, thank God you found us!Thankyou all my Sisters in Christ for your prayers and your Love-they are returned………………….Patti


  53. Blessings to all of you:
    I want to share several scriptures today.
    Psalm 37:7 Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for Him to act.
    Patience is hard for me concerning my daughter, Angela. Not hearing anything from her for over a year, makes me want something to happen NOW. I read this scripture to remind myself be still & wait patiently. God has a plan & it’s God’s timing.
    Psalm 118:1 Give thanks to the Lord for He is good. His faithful love endures forever.
    I thank God everyday for taking care of Angela. God is great and always faithful.
    1 Corinthians 13:7
    Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
    I will never give up on Angela. We can never lose hope for our daughters/sons. God is carrying each one of us through this journey. Thank you God for Janet, Jan & everyone here sharing their stories, emotions & unconditional love for our children.
    1 Corinthians 13:13 Three things will last forever – faith, hope and love – and the greatest of these is love.
    I love God. I’m blessed with family & friends. I love Angela dearly & unconditionally although she probably has different viewpoints. I love these prayer warriors.
    I wish all of you a blessed week. I’m praying for all of you & your children. I appreciate your prayers for our family also.
    Peace to each one of you.


  54. A little while ago I finished a five-day fast. I was feeling so spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically drained. I just so desperately needed to hear something, anything from God. Well to be honest, I never received anything earth shattering or received any great revelation but I truly believe that I just kept hearing to wait and then this came (via Twitter) http://www.charismamag.com/index.php/newsletters/daily-devotionals/by-love-transformed/26060-sometimes-god-says-qstayq ~ what a confirmation to me, which to be quite honest is so difficult as I want to jump in and do something even when I know that something could be terribly wrong, human nature can be dangerous in the spiritual world. And so I wait.

    Blessings and love in Christ to you all. I will continue in prayer for each son/daughter this week as well as for each of you.

    “Did I not tell you that if you believed you would see the glory of God?” (Jn 11:40)


  55. Amen, Amen, and Amen! I love the Lord, He is faithful and full of mercy. His loves endures forever! I am so thankful for this site, to know sisters who “understand” are praying for me. I covet your prayers Tues, Wed. and Thurs, Josh will be here. He is working in our area and asked if he could stay “at home”. Of course the answer was yes! I pray he will continue to let down his guard, let his anger go and learn to feel loved by his parents again. He has started telling me he loves us when he calls, thank you Jesus for this baby step. I believe he is angry with God, during his senior year in high school he prayed one night during service, asking God to be his savior but after a month or so said God was not answering certain prayers. I believe God has shown me tha Josh was asking for these unnatural desires to be removed, taken away so he didn’t have to deal with them. When they did not leave he got angry with God and remains angry to this day although he wouldn’t admit to this. I pray his anger, all of it, will disinegrate and be replaced with love.

    Judy you said you will never give up on Angela, I am 100% with you! My children are so important to me, I will never stop praying for them. I now am praying for each of you and your children also. God is an awesome God. Blessings to each of you this week.
    Jeaneen


  56. Thanks Judy!!! I came across this chart and scripture and hope it encourages you and as it does me. I have it posted to my closet door to look at everyday! I am thankful for you my prayer warrior sisters and brothers in Christ!!!
    Susan

    YOU HAVE HOPE!!! Isaiah 40:31

    “You are becoming strong as you wait on the LORD.”

    “He will give you the strength to hold on.
    He is not weak. He won’t let you fall.
    He will provide your foot with a firm place to stand.
    He won’t be late. He is trustworthy.
    Help is on the way!”
    YOU SAY GOD SAYS BIBLE VERSES
    You say: ‘It’s impossible’ God says: All things are possible ( Luke 18:27)
    You say: ‘I’m too tired’ God says: I will give you rest ( Matthew 11:28-30)
    You say: ‘Nobody really loves me’ God says: I love you ( John 3:1 6 & John 3:34 )
    You say: ‘I can’t go on’ God says: My grace is sufficient (II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)
    You say: ‘I can’t figure things out’ God says: I will direct your steps (Proverbs 3:5- 6)
    You say: ‘I can’t do it’ God says: You can do all things ( Philippians 4:13)

    You say: ‘I’m not able’ God says: I am able (II Corinthians 9:8)
    You say: ‘It’s not worth it’ God says: It will be worth it (Roman 8:28 )
    You say: ‘I can’t forgive myself’ God says: I Forgive you (I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)
    You say: ‘I can’t manage’ God says: I will supply all your needs ( Philippians 4:19)

    You say: ‘I’m afraid’ God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear ( II Timothy 1:7)
    You say: ‘I’m always worried and frustrated’ God says: Cast all your cares on ME (I Peter 5:7)
    You say: ‘I’m not smart enough’ God says: I give you wisdom (I Corinthians 1:30)
    You say: ‘I feel all alone’ God says: I will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5)


  57. Thank you Heidi – I am speaking to the mountain & telling it to be cast into the sea.
    Thank you Patti – you are right – He loves our kids more than we do. I’m giving Angela to God. God has a wonderful plan for her.
    Thank you Jeaneen – Prayers are with Josh & your family this week. God will be with you every step of the way.
    Thank you Susan for the chart & scripture.
    It’s wonderful & encouraging to read your words.
    My prayers are with all of you this week. Blessings to each one of you.


  58. Hey Judy……Thank you for being the person whom God made. You are His. Think of this estrangement
    out of the box. We can’t possibly understand God all the time but we can pray with our love for Him. All things work together for good for those who love the Lord. Believe it even if we don’t understand it. Hang on to it. Trust Him. The thought occurred to me that you may be being protected from the chaos. You! Our kids jump into all kinds of things….some big….some huge.We remember the babies,toddlers,missing teeth, sweet breath and all the beauty. That’s what mothers do and that is what breeds unconditional love. God compounds that love with His presence within us. It is not meant to torment…it is meant to keep us soft and full of love. I was just thinking that what you don’t know may protect you from what could hurt you to your very bone. Estrangement hurts. For sure. I wonder what the hurt would be if you could watch Angela in this lifestyle. I pray that this estrangement and it’s purpose become clear to you in this muddled mess we are in. TRUST my dear sister.HOPE always. WAIT on HIM. I have to remind myself of that always. God is working in Angela and it seems that He is doing this His way.I’ve been through this. His way is best. We mothers have a tendency to be mothers. He is Almighty God and He loves you both. Call on that love and receive it.I pray that Angela comes face to face with the love of God as I do for Loni.That they experience the love of God as He watches over them. That love will “call them out.” You are loved and you love. That is what we are called to be and do.You do it so GRACEously. You are His.


  59. I thank each of you for your prayers. Josh’s visit, 2 days/nights, was very good. There was no tension, no debating, no fussing, only reminders of my little boy again. I believe God knows what we need, I needed to see my little boy again, to be able to put aside the “sin” he is living in and to enjoy him again. I have renewed strength, my hope has been refreshed and my love soars high for this child. I rejoice in each small victory that is given and pray for the next.

    Patti, I so agree with you on the thought that what we know can hurt us. while Josh lived here for a year I was stressed the entire time. I knew too much, I witnessed and heard too much, my mind didn’t get the opportunity to shut down from the “gay stuff”. Now that he has moved out, my mind is able to shut down more often, I am sleeping better, I know less of what he is doing but for me this is needed. It’s bittersweet. We talk almost everyday for a few minutes, he calls me and I love it. Judy, hold tight God is still in control. I know your heart aches but your spirit can soar.
    Blessings to all.


  60. Thank you Patti & Jeaneen for your encouraging words. I know God has a plan and He is in control. I do tend to get impatient. Jeaneen, I’m so glad your visit went well with Josh. What an answer to prayer. Patti, I will trust, hope & wait. I continue to pray Angela & Loni come face to face with the love of God & are “called out”. My prayers are with all you parents & your children. Thank you for your prayers. God is always faithful. Thank you God for all my blessings.


  61. Hello ladies. As I was driving to work yesterday pondering on life’s problems, mine and others, I was reminded of something important the Lord showed me when we began this long journey with Josh. I hope it will be helpful for each of you. I asked God to help me understand this lifestyle choice, the overwhelming grief that was drowning me and the reason why my son was believing a lie from satan as perverse as it is. He told me, very audibly, that I was focusing on the wrong issue, I was focusing on the outward manifestation of sin, the homosexuality instead of the inward sin of unbelief. Our children are living a sinful life that is manifested in this behavior not unlike others who are liars, murderers, drunkards, adulterers, etc. The bottom line is this….they are lost and on the road to hell no matter what the outward behavior looks like. The outward action/sin may change but unless the heart is transformed they are still on the road to hell. If we focus on the heart of the matter, salvation, our motherly love and pain can be overtaken by our spiritual love and hope. I pray the blinders of sin that satan has placed on our kids eyes will be removed so they can see and feel the love of God. Have a good Sunday service everyone.
    Blessings to each of you.


  62. We had not heard from Angela since January of 2009. We decided to send her a Valentine card to where she works. She sent me an email to my email at work stating not to send cards to her place of employment. She said she didn’t want us to send cards anymore. She said the words to say in the cards “I love you” are just hollow words. Her tone in the email was very angry. I responded a week later after praying to God for guidance & prayer warriors praying also. I said I was glad to hear from her. I told her we love her & our door is always open. I told her I would want to keep in contact & I put Love Mom. We’ll see what she responds & when she responds. When I received the email, I fell apart. I was a wreck most of the day but the next day I was better. I know God has a plan. God is faithful. I agree Jeaneen & we need to pray the blinders of sin on our childrens’ eyes will be removed so they can see & feel the love of God. We love our children. God loves them more. I continue to pray for each one of you & your children. I appreciate your prayers for us. The journey continues.


  63. Judy, I am sooo sorry to hear of Angela’s response but know that God still is on the throne! He can soften her heart, you must just remain faithful. I am seeing the results of our prayers with Josh. My husband called him on Monday and made arrangements to meet him halfway between our house and his for supper, he didn’t make it because he had to work over but he was happy to hear from his dad. His heart is softening slowly, he calls me every few days just to tell me about his day. I love it! Prayer is the answer, time is God’s time, results will come if we are obedient. Hold on Judy, God will answer. You took a step of love, it will pay off in time. Praying for each of you.
    Blessings
    Jeaneen


  64. Jeaneen
    Thank you for your encouraging words. I’m glad to hear Josh’s heart is softening even if it is slowly.
    I appreciate your prayers. I’m praying for Josh & you. God is always faithful.


  65. Periodically I re-read over all the comments and I am always amazed at the workings of the Holy Spirit. There is pain,longing, love,hope and an overwhelming sense of peace. There is a rest in expressing ourselves just the way we are. It is the acceptance in Him of each other.
    We are all looking to Him.We are unified in Him. What a blessing.
    Someday I hope we all have the resources to have get-together. What a time it would be!! Jesus in the middle extending Himself and us praising His Holy Being and the privelege of Him working in us.
    Each time I re-read the posts I feel this blessed union.
    His grace and love is extended to our children,family and ourselves as well as all who are struggling. We are all growing in Him and sharing in Him. The scripture in this blog is so powerful for all circumstance and all people.
    I just have to say how blessed I am to be part of us in Him. Thankyou Jesus and thank all of you.
    Janet has put herself way out there and He is sustaining her. I pray that she is blessed with the resources that she needs-wisdom,courage,strength and energy when she is tired,people to assist in this ministry,financial resources and that He provides the opportunities for her in Him with an effortless path in the doors that open for her ministry……Amen and Amen!


  66. Psalm 37:7 Be still in the presence of the Lord and wait patiently for Him to act. Patience is challenging. God has a plan for Angela. God is always faithful & God is awesome! It would be absolutely wonderful to have a prayer conference where we could all meet & have Janet speak. I pray for God’s strength, courage and wisdom. I appreciate Janet’s corporate prayer on Mondays. I appreciate all you prayer warriors. I appreciate your prayers for Angela. I received the angry emailfrom her. I responded saying I was glad to hear from her & love her. No response this time. I sent another email this week telling her I was thinking about her & love her very much. We’ll see what happens. I appreciate your prayers. I’m praying for all of you also. Have a blessed week.


  67. Hey Sisters…there is a quietness on this blog that is a bit disturbing. I just realized that when I get overwhelmed I drop off the earth. A very good friend reminded me. Thanks JB.
    We lost my father in law a few weeks ago. He was not a believer. He refused to believe. Stubborn man! But God in His love laid in on my heart to show His love by being with him on his journey. I pray that spoke to his heart.It always amazes me when God steps into a situation that we least expect and fills us with such love and compassion for those who refuse to acknowledge His very being. Such is the love of our Father.Such are the gifts that He bestows on us.
    I pray for us always. I pray that our children run into good samaritans along their way. I pray that He brings people into their lives who see past the lie and can love our children in Christ. I pray that through their kindess alone, it will speak to their hearts and to their spirits. May we continue in our love for them and trust our Father with their journey. He knows the beginning and the end for all of us. He knows our sins both past,present and future and He elected to send His Son to make things right for a people He loves and for whom He has mercy in abundance.
    It is my prayer that we stand unified in trust. That fear is unknown to us and that we enter into the rest in Him. In all aspects of our lives. Then He can live through us in so many ways and we won’t become weary.
    The scripture on this blog is powerful.The word of our God erases pain and fear.
    May we all understand that He loves us with a patience that is hard to understand and doesn’t hold us in condemnation. The evil one has rights to that nonsense.
    May we walk in peace and love in Christ. May we be prayerful…not because we feel we have to in order to gain a place in Him…but because He loves us so much and has given us access to Himself as a Father and best friend.
    We will continue to outlove the worldly influences in our children’s lives. And in our own.
    You are all engraved on my heart in Him. May we all continue to lift up each other and our children to Him and trust Him implicitly.
    His Grace is forever present.
    Reading this blog is such a blessing and participating is a precious privelege.
    Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Thee. Thankyou Jesus.


    • Patti, I’m so glad you started the blog again. I check it every few days and it’s been quiet for so long, guess I could have been the first to write something but didn’t. I’m grateful to our God for friends. Tonight I spent time with a friend who did not know about Josh’s lifestyle, she said to me “Oh, I love that boy, he’s so special”. There was no condemnation, no looking down on his choice, only love for him and us. It was wonderful! She said to me, “You’ve been such a wonderful mom, you just continue to love him no matter what”. I’m sure each of us have heard enough criticism for how we have handled our kids so it was nice to hear positive feedback and encouragement. I’m glad God sends people to us when we need them.
      I agree the blog is precious and a blessing, it is an uplift to a weary soul. Blessings to each one.


  68. Isaiah 40: 31 But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary.
    They will walk and not faint.
    My prayers are with each one of you & also with your children on this journey. I know God has a plan for our children. God is always faithful!
    I encourage each one of you to join Janet Boynes Ministry Corporate Prayer on Mondays. Prayer makes a difference. Pray all of you have a blessed week.


    • Amen!


  69. Hello friends. God’s ways are mysterious, His thoughts are not our thoughts and His ways are not our ways (Isaiah 55:8). My son is back home. Chaos seems to prevail at times. Last week my mother who lives with us had a stroke, my son and his friend broke up which sent Josh into a downhill spiral and a very good friend lost both of her parents on the same night to natural causes. My stress level is so high I think it reaches heaven with no prayer or ladder, lol. I could easily build the tower to heaven on stress alone.

    My son worried about his grandma, became anxious over her illness while at the same time his friend asked him to leave their apartment. I end up getting texts that said he couldn’t stop crying and throwing up and that he had no reason to live, etc. In a nutshell, he was voicing suicidal ideations but had no plan. He did admit he was angry at God and had been yelling at Him. To me this was an improvement! Prior to this he stated he didn’t believe in the same God his dad and I believe in. This is progress despite the negative journey it looks like to the naked eye. We moved him home but he remains pretty depressed, not quite suicidal but not far from it. I ask you to pray for him, not for release of the depression but for release of the hold satan has on him. Pray that God will continue to work in his life, to open his eyes to the truth. Josh even mentioned liking and possibly dating a girl. Now that’s a good thought to me and dad, lol. My prayer is for the veil of darkness to be lifted from his eyes so he can see the truth in order to make a decision based on truth and not on lies. Pray for my husband and I that we speak when we should and that we put aside our words and use the words God places in our mouth and that we are silent when that is needed also. He went on a mini vacation to be alone for a few days, I pray God uses this time to speak directly to him. It’s in the quiet times that God speaks the loudest.

    I so appreciate this blog, just knowing other parents understand our journey is heartwarming and yet heartbreaking. I would want no one to know heartbreak but as long as we live in this fallen world we shall. I am grateful that God is my refuge and my strength! Without Him I am nothing. Prayers and blessings to each of you.


  70. Jeaneen
    Prayers are with your husband,Josh & you. God will be by your side with the compassion & the words through this journey. God is always faithful. He has an awesome plan for our all of us. Blessings, Judy


  71. Group hug everybody.(((((((\O/))))))).As we wait expectantly and with praise! I love that we are focusing on Him instead of on circumstance.Thou wilt keep Him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Thee. AMEN!Got the armour on and waving the sword. Just dropping by to say I love all of you in HIM. Blessings!


  72. Take time to post your thoughts & concerns. It has been almost 4 years since our daughter emailed us saying she was a lesbian & in a relationship. Our relationship has been very rocky since this time. Now she wants nothing to do with us. We don’t know her phone number. We do know where she lives which is about 8 hours from us. I know God has a plan for her. I pray an angel comes into her life to share His Word & the truth will set her free.
    Psalm 37:7 Be still in the presence of the Lord & wait patiently for Him to act.
    We need to encourage each other.
    Blessings to all. He is our strength.
    Judy



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